Does an out of court divorce really exist in England and Wales?

December 8, 2025
Does an out of court divorce really exist in England and Wales?

In September 2025, the House of Commons Public Accounts Committee reported that the family court system is ‘letting down’ children and families due to severe delays and a ‘lack of urgency’ from the Government. As of December 2024, 4000 children were involved in court proceedings that had been running for more than 100 weeks.

For those considering divorce or separation, the prospect of the parties, and any children of the family, being involved in court proceedings that could last around 2 years is likely to be of huge concern.  

To what extent is Court necessary in separation proceedings?

Getting married is a legal process and so is divorce. It is therefore necessary to use the family court to end a marriage by way of divorce. But the entire process can be completed online, via the government portal, without the need to attend a court building.

Achieving a financial order on divorce is also a legal process and can also be completed via the portal. However, if a dispute arises as to how to share the financial resources, or as to where and with whom any children of the family are to live, then it may be necessary to attend court, but thankfully, if you are considering divorce or separation and wish to avoid this lengthy and costly court process, there are alternative methods of “out of court dispute resolution” available.

Entering into a non-married cohabiting relationship is not a legal process and therefore neither is ending one. It may, however, be necessary to use a legal process to achieve a financial settlement or settle a dispute concerning child arrangements.

Family therapy before divorce

If you are unsure whether divorce or separation is the right answer, many find family therapy to be a good starting point. The psychotherapeutic approach can aid in strengthening familial relationships and fostering open and honest communication. Whether or not separation is the eventual outcome, family therapy can encourage ongoing effective communication and cordiality, with long-lasting influence.

What is the ‘kitchen table’ approach?

If it has become clear that the relationship has irretrievably broken down and divorce or separation is on the cards, those couples with an amicable relationship may wish to consider the ‘kitchen table’ approach. This out of court process involves the parties sitting together in an informal setting (not necessarily at the kitchen table!) and trying to come to an agreement between themselves.

One benefit of this is that you can control the time frame and the process generally. This “ownership” is likely to encourage an amicable approach that will no doubt assist discussions and promote co-parenting. Additionally, from a practical perspective this method is cost-efficient as there may be less need for expert assistance from a lawyer or other third-party professional.

Once an agreement has been reached, it should then be made into a legally binding order that can be enforced in the event that one party later tries to opt out. Here at Herrington Carmichael, our expert family team can assist with drafting a ‘consent order’, which can then be uploaded to the court portal for the approval of a judge.

Mediation for divorce or separation?

Mediation is an out of court divorce process which can assist positive communication which is likely to help you to reach an agreement. Separating couples often find it beneficial to jointly choose the identity of their mediator, based on their expertise and cost.

Mediation can be conducted with both parties in the same room, or in separate rooms, or via a video link, or with either or both parties’ children and/or solicitors also present. 

Solicitor involvement – how we can help

If your circumstances make it inappropriate or unsafe to discuss matters directly with your partner (whether or not with a mediator present), you could consider instructing a solicitor to negotiate on your behalf and support you through the process. Here at Herrington Carmichael, our family team has a wealth of knowledge and experience that enables us to assist families achieve outcomes best suited to their unique circumstances and is here to assist in helping you reach an agreement out of court but nonetheless legally binding, whether regarding financial matters or issues concerning your children.

If you are considering divorce or separation and would like to speak to our experienced family team, please contact us today.

Sarah Speed
Partner, Family
<script>
document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', function () {
  const deptEl = document.getElementById('acf-author-department');
  const department = deptEl?.dataset?.department;

  if (typeof gtag === 'function' && department) {
    gtag('set', { author_department: department });
  }
});


  window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || [];
  const dept = document.getElementById("author-department")?.textContent?.trim();
  if (dept) {
    window.dataLayer.push({
      event: "authorDataReady",
      author_department: dept
    });
  }

</script>
View profileContact Us

This reflects the law and market position at the date of publication and is written as a general guide. It does not contain definitive legal advice, which should be sought in relation to a specific matter.

Latest Legal Insights