The recent posting by Brooklyn Beckham will no doubt have intrigued many people as to the internal workings of the Beckham household.
There are of course in some ways, similarities to what may or may not have gone on between King Charles and Prince Harry, but in all cases, this remains a universal story between a child and a parent, but in this case very famous children of very famous parents.
Brooklyn, like Prince Harry, appears to want to send a message to his parents, that oddly he may have found too difficult to say directly to them. However, that message is being sent with many millions of people also being made aware of that message. This message is then received by his parents in full knowledge that their child no longer considers it to be a private matter.
We will likely never know what has really gone on, but it is apparent that both Prince Harry and Brooklyn have been brought up in the public gaze with public scrutiny and that this is arguably all they have known during their lives. Their parents are, by any standard, incredibly famous and well known for what they have done and achieved in terms of status. It is notable that in the same way as the royal family, the Beckhams have themselves always appeared to use the press in a certain way, which has meant that they will not always respond back to such comments and speculation etc. In the Beckham’s case, we will be aware of third parties making allegations and speculating, and they have had to face at times and risk public ridicule as well as gossip in terms of their marital relationship, their parenting abilities, their roles and so on.
However, throughout all of this it is clear that they would want their children to live successful and independent lives. Those same children might reasonably seek some sort of attention or validation from their parents. I would say that even from my own experience, this remains the case (even as an adult!). Many children may still seek that ongoing approval from their parents – what they have achieved, what they want their parents to note and to be proud of (and hope they will be too), and I have no doubt that there is a need for this to be acknowledged on some level regardless of how famous that child might be.
I think it is a very human issue, something that many people no doubt deal with on a day-to-day basis, and the older we get does not mean that those things change for everyone. In this case, it appears that Brooklyn decided to make a very public declaration of his (possible) disappointment with his parents, but the outcome of that can only appear to be met with more attention, but in a negative way.
This story will no doubt play out in the coming weeks and will likely result in further press speculation, opinion pieces, etc. But it struck me that in these sorts of cases where somebody is clearly expressing their unhappiness, that this is the very time for the need for thought and space. It made me think of some mediation cases which I have worked on, where it is clear that one or other party has acted in a certain way, and who may have completely misunderstood the reasons why they may or may not have done something, the context, and so on. Often, the reason why people fall out is because a misunderstanding, becomes an argument, that then become a dispute escalating further into an entrenched position which can then become much more permanent in its outcome.
A powerful aspect of mediation, which can also be most rewarding, is where the process enables one party to explain why they may or may not have done or said something, and to express their genuine reasons and provide context. This can be hard to hear and no doubt say, but it can also enable and provide understanding, and the opportunity for a party to apologise once they understand the impacts because they have only become aware of this where the other party has told them how it made them feel or what impact it has had on their day-to-day lives.
In the case of the Beckhams, it strikes me that as David Beckham has said, kids should be allowed to make some mistakes. There is possibly a judgement being made (a mistake has been made), but this might also be a potential way forward, an olive branch where he is on the one hand saying I want to deal with this in a dignified and non-public way, but also for a conversation to take place where this can be explained and which might mean they can find a way to resolve such matters. It can sometimes come down to a simple apology, as long as this is genuinely stated, felt and received. As I often say to my own family, we all need to be heard and also to hear what other people are saying in order to form and make those stronger bonds and to understand and to dive deeper into that relationship.
Family relationships are inevitably complicated with competing interests, time, attention, and so on. But I am clear that mediation does enable parties to use a process which does allow for reconciliation and conciliation in a respectful and dignified way.
How Herrington Carmichael Can Help
If you are interested in exploring out-of-court options for resolving family disputes, please contact us. Paul Wild is a qualified mediator with many years of experience, as well as practising Collaborative lawyer.
